You are NOT alone feeling like this. As the non-pregnant partner, we traditionally play the bench warmer role. You’re evolving and looking to become a partner that assists mom in her pregnancy, labor, and parenting journey. That’s why you’re here – so you really do have somewhat of a clue!
That’s great news! Now let’s take a quick stroll through the past.
Many years ago men/partners really did not have a big part in birth. In some cases the father wasn’t even allowed in the room. Dads used to see their baby for the first time on a tiny screen in a smoking room. This isn’t a modern scenario anymore; however, it has caused confusion and apprehension in expecting fathers.
So we need to evolve with the times, too.
When a couple finds out that they are pregnant, they are either hoping for it, or it was an accident. It can be a scary time either way – many things are about to change.
For example, conversation changes because suddenly you need to plan and shape your household. Without guidance and an environment that is set to help strengthen the non-pregnant partner, he won’t easily reach his potential. Some may even run far away.
Let’s think of one way to start getting better engaged.
Many times partners feel picked on, and this doesn’t happen by mistake. There’s a primal part of pregnancy that seems to urge the female to challenge the male. It’s believed that this takes place because our ancestors wanted to make sure they had protection and a mate that would help her raise her child.
In order to level up in your relationship, you first have to understand this.
When I see couples who avoid taking a childbirth education class or even read a book related to their upcoming childbirth, I get a little worried. It’s so important to have serious knowledge for this big, life-changing event called birth.
True engagement begins with understanding your relationship and navigating its changes as you become parents.
My biggest piece of advice is: strengthen your relationship and become educated in the childbirthing process.