I’ve worked with thousands of families and I always ask the non-pregnant partner, “when did it get real, and when did you feel attached?”
The answers are not surprising because they’re typically the same: it became real with the pregnancy stick (usually 4-6 weeks pregnant), but attachment occurred when hearing the heartbeat and seeing an ultrasound (around 20 weeks).
Men are visual people – this means that attaching to someone without seeing them can be a little difficult.
But whenever the attachment occurs, that’s usually when dad is ready to start learning.
I define this “open” period as the time between when the non-pregnant partner attaches and when he feels that he’s ready to dive in. Some things that affect the timing of this open period are: the state of their relationship, finances, and even family pressures.
An important lesson I teach expectant fathers is learning to set boundaries with families and friends during this open period. To avoid animosity with family and friends, it’s important to keep conversations between partners private.
This is the time when the entire paradigm shifts and exciting changes start happening in the relationship.
During this time you should learn:
- The importance of making relative gestures to enhance the pregnancy and delivery process
- How to communicate with birth workers, doctors or midwifes
- What happens in early labor and the non-medical interventions
- What happens in labor
- The psychology behind their partner being a patient
- Navigating labor in the hospital
- Cesarean section delivery (just in case)
- Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU)
I truly hope that all the information shared on this site has helped you create a successful road map for your new family.
Remember, there are many ways to have a baby, but clear understanding of the whole process makes it an amazing journey with the lowest chances of regret.